Blade and Izze's Roadtrip of DOOM!
by Blade and Izze
Summary: Two bored high schoolers hijack an RV and travel through various books and movies searching for something to do...randomness will ensue...epic randomness  yes, there are OC's. yes, the story is crack. enjoy
1. Chapter 1

Blade here

ahhh the first chap is finally up...i already made a bunch so theyll be up as well soon...this was started a while ago, so the writing style will vary :)

feel free to praise, honor, comment on, flame, whatever, and enjoy the first chap of BaIROD XD Allons-y!

Blade and Izze's Roadtrip of DOOM

Prologue

Once apon a time there were two majorly fricking awesome people named Blade and Izze. Blade was British, and refused to say lovely. Izze was a sweet, cute, little asian girl...not. Ahem. Anyway it was the exceedingly dramatic LAST DAY OF SCHOOL! BEWARE! Somehow managing to sit next to each other on the last day, despite having no classes together, Blade was doing his best to annoy Izze.

Blade: I AM SO BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORED!

Izze: You don't have to shout.

Blade: :(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(

Izze: *sigh*

Announcement: SCHOOL IS OVER SO EVERYONE GET OUT AND LEAVE US ALONE!

Blade: WOOT! (runs outside)

Izze: *sigh* (runs after Blade)

Blade: Hey! Look what I found!

Izze: (looks over at random dude with lizard legs) Ewww...!

RandomDudeWithLizardLegs: DONT INSULT ME YOU WILL DIE!

Blade: (claps hands together and pulls giant cleaver out of wall)

Izze: (claps hands and pulls giant invisible sword out of the floor)

RDWLL: LIEK OMG HOW DID U DO TAT?

Blade: SPEAK LIKE A NORMAL PERSON! (decapitates random dude)

Izze: Heeey! I didn't get to do anything!

Another random dude pops out.

Izze: (decapitates other dude) YAY!

Blade: I wonder why he wanted to kill us.

Izze: *shrug*

(The two leave the dudes lying in a bloody mess on the floor.)

Izze: So! What should we do?

Blade: EAT CAKE!

Izze: No, cake is a lie, pie is constant.

Blade: :(

Izze: Anything else?

Blade: KILL RANDOM MONSTERS!

Izze: Well there aren't any monsters to randomly kill.

Blade: :((

Izze: We could go somewhere...

Blade: Where?

Izze: SOMEHWERE!

Blade: :(((

Izze: My dad's brother's son's mother's cousin's second cousin's friend's best friend's father's cousin has an RV that we could use.

Blade: O rly?

Izze: Ye rly.

Blade: Oh.

(1 hour and three unconscious bodies later)

Blade: Right, so now that we have it, do you know how to drive?

Izze: No.

Blade: Do you have a drivers liscense?

Izze: No

Blade: Cool.

Izze: How do you start this thing again...hmm...

Blade: Where should we go?

Izze: HOGWARTS OF COURSE YOU IDIOT!

Blade: HOGWARTS! WOOT!

Chapter 1: School of Magic

Blade: I just remembered, this car can fly can't it?

Izze: Ummm...yeah.

Blade: Well that would cut out travel time.

Izze: Alright...(pulls switch)

RV goes flying off dramatically into the sky dramatically.

PeopleonGround: HOW DRAMATIC!

(The two arrive at Hogwarts)

Blade: LETS GO BLOW UP STUFF!

Izze: Lets not blow up stuff.

Blade: :( Do you even remember how to use magic?

Izze: Stupefy! (plant grows legs and jumps into pond)

Blade: Hmm...Stupefy! (another plant grows wings and flies away)

Izze: I think we should stick to alchemy.

Blade: And get some more practice with magic.

Izze: LETS GO SEE SNAPE!

Blade: I thought he did potions...

Izze: Lets just say this is all Harry's years put together. So Snape is DATDA teacher and potions.

Blade: TO THE POTIONS CLASSROOM!

Izze: (marches behind Blade, and trips over a ladybug) STUPID LADYBUG! AVADA KEDAVRA (ladybug dies) Well at least I can cast that...

(4 unconscious bodies and 3 destroyed doors later, the heroes find themselves in the potions classroom)

Blade: (puts cleaver away) Well that was easy.

Izze: And there wasn't as much blood this time. :D

Blade: Where's Snape?

Snape: Who DARES! Enter the realm of SNAPE THE POTIONS MASTERRRRR!

Izze: Ummm...we do?

Blade: Are you ok dude?

Snape: OK? I am FINE thank you for ASKING!

Izze: We need to get better at stupefy.

Snape: NEVER shall I TEACH you STUPEFY! That WOULD be IMPROBABLE!

Blade: -_-" You've got serious issues dude...

Snape: I KILL YOU!

Izze: WHY DOES EVERYONE WANT TO KILL US! U WILL DIE SNAPEYPOODLE!

Izze and Blade: SNAPIUS EXPLODIUS! Snape explodes and Blade and Izze escape, while Blade laughs like a maniac. :P)

Fred and George join Blade and Izze and hatch a plan to embarrass Filch and all his Slytherin friends. Blade is still laughing like a maniac.

Izze and Blade steal Mrs. Norris and sneak around school posting threatening ransom notes addressed to Filch. They run back to the potions classroom, now empty cus Snape exploded, and laugh evily. (Blade tries to but his mouth is duct taped by Izze.) Snape suddenly rises from the dead.* HOLY COCKROACH CLUSTERS ITS SNAPEYPOODLE! *An epic duel ensues until Draco runs into the room crying cus Hermione doesn't love him. Hermione then runs in firing jinxes at him and calling him a moron. (Well... he is) Then Percy runs in and shouts "I AM HEAD BOY SO U ALL MUST OBEY ME STOP FIGHTING" Blade fires imperio at Percy and tells him to jump out of the nearest window. Then Luna falls through the ceiling and claims that she heard Gnargles playing hopscotch on the roof. Then Cedric Diggory flies in on a Hungarian Horntail shouting "THIS IS SPARTA!" Izze drinks some polyjuice potion and turns into voldemort so everyone runs away, except Blade... AND THEN Snapeypoodle (who just came back to life) fires Avada Kedavra on a book (which does nothing) then he falls asleep using the nearest cauldron as a pillow. AND THEN Dumbledore dives in (yes, dives) in and starts shooting random charms at people. And THEN Filch runs in crying cus he lost his cat. (Izze gives cat back) Filch smiles so much he explodes into 62,534,091 different pieces. that are shaped like jigsaw puzzle pieces. "Gee, thats a hard puzzle" Shouts Cormac McLaggon who randomly poofs into the room. "SHUT UP CORMAC NOBODY LIKES YOU!" Blade fires that bubble spell at him and he flies away in a bubble. THEN Harry oozes in and shouts "HEY GIVE ME MY INVISIBILITY CLOAK!" Izze: "YOU SAID I COULD HAVE IT" "I DID? O_o" Izze stares at Harry and then cackles like a witch and turns him into a leprechaun. Blade suddenly laughs like a maniac cus the duct tape dissapparated to go on holiday in Cuba. Then Izze and Blade start playing rock band cus they're bored with their lives and Luna joins too. (Username- )

So our heroes (and by heroes, I mean Blade and Izze) continue to play rock band, and get mad when Luna always gets 100 percent on expert guitar. Hagrid suddenly bursts into the room screaming something about fire - breathing woodlice. Then peeves decides to fly in, cackling about cheese. Hagrid starts crying because the woodlice set him on fire. Fred and George burst in (because that's all they can do) and try to comfort Hagrid, and try to convince him that the woodlice will die! Then fire - breathing woodlice attack Blade and Izze, so they start to fire random jinxes at them, then the woodlice have an epic battle with some blast - ended skrewts while a piece of cheese runs into the room shouting so Blade shoots it with a nerf gun, then the cheese proceeds to then explode over a sleeping Snape's face, causing him to wake up and trip over the jigsaw shaped pieces of Filch. So Cedric runs in muttering something about madness. "Dam you EDWARD CULLEN" Cedric proceeds to turn pale and suddenly become emo while rabid fangirls chase after him.

So Blade and Izze run over to the three broomsticks to drink loads of butter beer. While drinking their pleasant beverages Percy flies through the window and said "WHOS THE ONE WHO TOLD ME TO JUMP OUT THE WINDOW?" Blade jumps up "I DID! IMPERIO!" Ben tells Percy to jump off the nearest astronomy tower. He does it. So then Harry runs in babbling about chocolate chip covered clocks, and Blade's like "I LOVE CLOCKS!" So he jumps out of the window to go steal the clock tower. Izze sighs and chases after him. When Blade gets to the clock tower he sees Colin Creevey staring at a picture of the back of Harry's head. Harry walks in.

"I LOVE YOU HARRY!" Shouts Colin and he swims over to Harry and he runs away while Colin continues to swim after him. (Colin isn't a great swimmer).

Blade: I JUST REMEMBERED! I hate clocks...

Izze arrives and sees a random slytherin and throws a large rock at him that proceeds to impale said slytherin in the head. Snape starts crying uncontrollably because his potion won't make him turn to into a fairy ballerina and then the entire weasley family jumps in and they all start yodeling to the tune of American idiot. Then Blade jumps on the table and shouts "LETS GO SOMEHWERE!" All of a sudden music starts playing and everyone teleports to some random boulevard. They see a whole bunch of dreams flying around that then shatter into approximately 345,210,532 pieces that look like peoples faces. Then Voldemort appears and is like "O MY GOSHES I LUV DIS PLAYCE!" Blade uses imperio on Voldemort and tells him to beat himself up with the nearest tree. Suddenly Izze engages in an epic battle with Bellatrix Lestrange. Izze throws a bludger and Bellatrix's head and then Bellatrix dies. :) Izze and Ben then fly away on Firebolt 10000's (which go faster then the best sports car in the world) and laugh madly until they fall asleep.

Blade and Izze happily go to eat ICE CREAM AND PIE!

Bellatrix Lestrange suddenly jumps through the floor and screams "THERES A CAT IN THE CHAMBER OF SECRETS!" Izze and Blade quickly jump up from their dessert and rush to the CoS. Suddenly Blade's like "We need to speak parseltongue!" Because they're too lazy to find Harry they just blow up the sinks with a convenient pipe bomb lying next to them. They fall down to the chamber and see Lockhart having a tea party with some broomsticks. "WELL! Would you like to join us were having a jolly good time today YAHOOOOO!" They just stare at Lockhart and then both stupefy him so he goes flying up the tunnel and out of the CoS right into the cops who were conveniently standing there. They then find the door to the basilisk room conveniently open, so they swim (yes, swim) into the room and find a cat munching on the remains of a basilisk. All of a sudden Hannah Abbot appears "MRS. FLUFFYWUFFKINS! YOU JUST HAD YOUR DINNER!" Ben and Izze both had anime sweat drops going down their heads. "Fluffywuffkins?" "What? And you think BLADE, is a good name?" "Well... Yeah" "SHUTUP!" Blade throws the cat at Hannah and it claws at her face and she runs around screaming and she can't see so she walks into the basilisk's mouth and into it's stomach and she dies. :) The two apparate out of the chamber (because obviously they couldn't just apparate IN could they?) and run to Dumbledore. "DUMBLYDORE! WE KILLED HANNAH ABBOT! " "Oh that's nice Im busy now please go away." The two walk away and Izze randomly crashes into Percy who falls off the balcony onto some conveniently placed sharp objects that some first year conveniently dropped and dies. :) Then Penelope Clearwater finds him and faints and then she dies. :) Fred and George run up to the two (heroes? Crazy ppl?) "Wow thanks-" "-You killed-" "-Percy, that's-" "-Great!" Then VOLDEMORT! Appears and Izze's like "I wish he would die" It turns out that conveniently earlier she conveniently drew a flame circle on her hand so she snapped her fingers and Voldemort dies. :)

So DEN! Izee and Blade flew out of Warthogs woops I mean Hogwarts because they were bored with life in general. So allofasudden Bellatrix Lestrange pops out! "LIEK OMG ITS BELLA!" shouted Izze. Blade was thinking Bella Swan so he shot Bellatrix with a submachine gun that he conveniently had on his back. Then Bella conveniently fell onto some conveniently placed ground 4000 feet below. "Well THAT was convenient!" So they landed in some random place that looked conveniently like Central. "How convenient I always wanted to come here." Allofanothersudden some random dude that looked partially evil came out and did loads of partially evil things. So Blade drew a wind tm circle on his hand and Izze drew a fire tm circle on her hand and they both snapped their fingers and and then the somewhat partially evil guy died. XD. "How convenient that we both knew transmutation circles!" WOOT!

Then they go and eat ICE CREAM AND PIE!


	2. Epic Comrades

Chapter 2: Epic Comrades

So DEN! Some dude in armor runs in. "HAS ANYONE SEEN A SMALL TEEN WITH BLONDE HAIR AND A RED COAT?"

Blade: Ummmm...yea he's right there. *points to the small teen with blonde hair and a red coat sitting opposite him.*

Al: OOOOOOOHHHH!

Izze: We were just talking about you.

Al: O rly?

Izze: No.

Al: T_T

Blade and Ed: -_-"

Al: Well can I join you?

Blade: *whispers to Izze* I don think he'll fit.

Al: WHAT WAS THAT!

Blade: I said I don't think you'll fit.

Al: Oh * slams ben's head into table*

Izze and Ed: -_-"

Blade: AAAAAAANYWAYS! Hai I'm Blade the dude who keeps changing his weapon (the name I just made up five minutes ago...)

Izze: Hai Im Izze the Ice Alchemist. (the name I made up four and 3/4 minutes ago.)

Ed: Yes I know.

Blade: WELL WHO SAID WE WERE TALKING TO YOU SHORTY!

Ed: ONOUDIDNT!

Blade: OYESIDID!

Ed: I WILL KILL YOU!

Blade: Hes mad.

Ed: SPAAAAAAARRRRTAAAAAAAAAAA!

Blade and Ed fight a bunch.

Blade: Wait a second!

Blade claps his hands together and and a giant tornado appears and hits Ed right in the face!

Ed: OW MY LEG!

Ed: Damn I didn't know he could do that!

Blade epically does a triple backflips and makes two swords out of...something, and Izze randomly conures up 29436464 grenades and threw them all at Ed and den it ESPLODED all over the place and Blade ROFLed so hard but then Ed got up so Izze just conveniently had a wind circle set up so she made a whirlwind of DOOM!

A giant (like big) jet of wind hits Ed and he goes flying back and his arm falls off. His left arm. No jk his right arm.

Winry: DAMN U ED MY GOD STOP BREAKING UR ARM!

Izze: Where did you come from?

Winry: WHY DO YOU NEED TO KNOW HUH?

Izze: ummm...

Winry: SHUT UR FACE!

Izze: -_-" *throws Winry into Ed*

Blade: Well that was pretty easy...

Ed: I wasn't ready!

Blade: Riiiiiiiight.

Bartender: (yes were in a bar) GETOUTNOFIGHTING!

Izze: Oh look a convenient window to conveniently escape out of!

Everybody runs away.

Winry ran away crying to herself.

Ed: WAIT WINRY I LUVS U! NOOOOOO!

Izze: So you DO like her...

Ed: NO I DONT STOP ACCUSING ME OF STUFF IM NOT DOING!

Izze: (freezes Ed in a block of ice and throws him out the nearest window)

Izze: WAIT! Why did I throw out one of my favorite characters?

Omniscient Narrator: Because I made you.

Izze: WHOWUSTHAT!

ON: Im the narrator of this story.

Izze: Oooooooh! WAIT UR MEAN!

ON: Well that's life.

Izze: .\_/.

(Meanwhile at some other random part of Central which is actually the best known cafe around)

Al: (slamming Blade's head into the table repeatedly) This is fun!

Blade: If I could get my hands together you would die. Oh wait I can!,

Blade: (tries to blow Al away but he's too heavy) DAMMIT! (fills the armor with water by blowing a barrel of it into Al)

Al: NOES! I CANT MOVE!

Blade: HaHA! I hath foiled thou knavish ploy.

Al: Excuse me?

Blade: I don't know I just said that out of nowhere.

ON: (Laughing to self)

Blade: (creates a whirlwind around Alphonse and Al goes flying out the window)

Blade: Why did I just throw out one of my favorite characters?

Izze: (Appears out of nowhere) Ive been having the same problem!

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

Al: (slams Ed's head into a tree) THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT! IF YOU HADNT MADE THE NARRATOR MAD WE WOULDNT BE HERE!

Ed: Where are we?

Al: NEW JERSEY!

Ed: EEK! NOT NEW JERSEY! Where in New Jersey?

Al: The sign here says...Something ending with an n but I can't see the rest.

Ed: HMHMHMHMMMHMJMJMMHNJHBUNHJM!

Al: O_o

Ed: I'm thinking.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

Blade: Three twos.

Izze: One three.

Blade: BS!

Izze: No.

Blade: Dammit.

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

Al: Ed I'm bored.

Ed: You've been saying that every three seconds for the past four hours.

Al: Ed I'm bored.

A whirlwind appears below them and they suddenly appear in what looks like an apartment, but it's way to messy to know.

Ed: It looks like a storm hit here.

Blade: It did. Hurricane Katrina got bored and came back.

Izze: Funny how it only hit here...hmmmm...

Blade: Wanna play BS?

Al: Sure...

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

Blade: IM BORED!,

Izze: Well...you don't have to yell about it.

Blade: ARDGRGEHFFIJFNUWUKBWKUHOU!

Izze: ...

Ed: Why don't we go find some random people to beat up?

Blade: WOOT! YEAH! LETSDOIT!

Izze: Whaaaaaatever.

(everyone runs off)

(A few piled up bodies and some blood later...)

Al: That was fun!

Blade: All you did was slam peoples heads into everything.

Al: EXACTLY!

Riza Hawkeye: Hey guys what's up?

Izze: Oh hey Lieutenant we were just beating up some peoples.

Hawkeye: O my em gee those are all the guys on the top ten most wanted list how exciting! If Colonel Mustang was here he would be happy.

Izze: (freezes all the baddies in a block of ice) Here you go...

Hawkeye: GEEEEE THANKS GUYS UR THE BESTEST!

BladeIzzeEdAl: -_-"

Blade: Hey what's that?

Some random scientist dude: Oh hey would u like to try out my new teleporter?

Izze: Ummm...no (runs up and steals teleporter and runs off)

Some random scientist dude: HEEEEY GIVES IT BAK PLZ!

Blade: (Throws random scientist dude into the Eiffel tower which is a looooong way away.)

Izze: (freezes dude onto tower so he can't escape)

BladeIzze: !LOLOLOLO

And den suddenly ROY MUSTANG appears!

Blade: ummmmmmmmm...hi?

Roy: Yo wassup homies?

Izze: *stabs Roy in the eyes* never say that again

Roy: NOT AGAIN!

Izze: Wait, why did I just stab one of my favorite characters

OmniscientNarrator: LOL this is fun

(Everyone teleports away)

Roy: So...how did you get automail arms.

Blade: I tried to bring my fish back to life and That Thing thought I was trying to bring a human back to life. So I explained the situation and he said he was bored so he took my arm. It's my left too. IM A LEFTY DAMMIT!

Izze: I told That Thing that he was a perv for not wearing clothes so he took my arm as punishment...

Roy: Oh...

Blade: CAN YOU AT LEAST FORM A SENTENCE INSTEAD OF SAYING OH ALL THE TIME! (hits Roy with keyblade)

UR LUCKY THAT YOU DONT HAVE UR HEAD TAKEN OFF RIGHT NOW!

Roy: Owwies...

Izze: Do you want ice for that? (impales Roy with giant ice block)

Roy: My head hurts...

Blade: (hits Roy again) MAKE LONGER SENTENCES!

Al and Ed: (still playing UNO oblivious to the beating of Roy)

(Meanwhile somewhere else)

Envy: IM BORED!

Lust: Shutup.

Envy: NO IM BORED AND IM FREE TO EXPRESS THAT!

Greed: No seriously shutup.

Gluttony: OMNOMNOMNOMNOM!

Envy: Waaaaiiiit! Aren't you supposed to be dead?

Greed: Yes.

Envy: ...

Greed: I feel like beating people up.

Lust: YEAH! LETSDOIT!

(Meanwhile back to our rambunctious crew)

Blade: Wouldn't it be so funny if a male cross dresser with spiky hair crashed through the window right now.

Envy(aka cross dresser): (smashes through window) I HATE YOU ALL!

Blade: (throws knife which impales Envy on the head) *sigh*

(Meanwhile in a random classroom which I stole the idea from one of Izze's stories)

Teacher: Bobby? What is Lust?

Bobby: Lust is a hot chick who has giant spikes that come out of her fingers. Oh and she hangs out with fat people and cross dressers.

Teacher: Umm...-_-"

Class: -_-"

Izze: BLAAAAAAADE! YOU JUST STOLE MY STORY IDEA! I am so sueing you...*walks away mumbling*

(Back at the LAIR OF THE COOLNESS PEOPLE!)

Al: MEOW!

Ed: AL!

Al: That wasn't me! It was the kitty cat!

Ed: *sigh*

-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-

Führer King Bradley: I WILL KILLS U ALL!

Blade: Y?

Brad: BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE IT MY WRATH WILL KILL YOU ALL! AND MY NAME ISNT BRAD!

Blade: Is ur name Wrath?

Brad: URGGGGG! I KILL YOU!

(insert epic battle)

(JK I'm gonna write it this time)

Izze who just appeared out of nowhere: Well...every story has to have at least one serious part...(claps hands and slams them onto the floor and nothing comes out.

Brad: THERES NOTHING THERE!

Izze: Thats what YOU think! (Hits Brad in the side with invisible sword)

Brad: OWWIES! AND CALL ME WRATH!

ON: Fine...

Blade: (claps hands and brings giant cleaver out of wall) U die. (Thows knives)

Wrath: (gets hit in the leg) OWS MY LEG U EVIL PEOPLE!

Blade: (swings cleaver and cuts Wrath's head off then waits for it to grow back, then cuts it off again and again and again and again and again)

Izze: (joins in cutting various body parts off Brad I mean Wrath)

Izze: HOW LONG DO YOU LAST!

Wrath: A pretty long time...

Izze: (creates icy lake under Brad) HAHA U ARE STILL CALLED BRAD!

Brad: No not ice water! (starts freezing)

Blade: (uses gust of wind to push Brad under the water)

Brad: (freezes and dies)

Blade: Is he dead yet?

Izze: I think so...

Lust: NOOOO HE CANT DIE!

Blade: (throws Lust into water) You hang out with the wrong people...

Izze: Im bored now.

Blade: I KNOW WHERE TO GO! ED! AL! COME HERE!

(inside the RV)

Al: MEOW!

Blade: Was that you Izze?

Izze: Im not a cat...

Blade: Ooooooooh!

Izze: (punches Blade)

Blade: It was just a joke...

Ed: AL PUT THAT CAT BACK WHERE HE BELONGS!

Al: ED! Ur so mean!

Blade: Where iz te kitteh?

Al: Here...(gives cat to blade)

Cat: MEOW! (sees green chair than freaks out and rubs itself on it, then sees green toothpaste and eats it all)

Izze: It really like green doesn't it. (presses button and chairs turn purple) Thats better.

Cat: HISS!ROWR!

Blade: I shall name him...

GREEN OTAKU!

Izze: Seriously?

Blade: Yes, I happen to think it's a good name, thank you not rly very much.

Otaku: MEOW!PURRRRR!PURR!PURR!

Blade: See, he likes me.

Izze: His eyes aren't even green...

(cats eyes turn green)

Blade: Cool...

(cats eyes go rave)

Izze: I feel dizzy...(faints)

Blade: I think this can come in handy. :D

Otaku: :D


	3. Sparkly Evil

Chapter 3: Sparkly Evil

Ed: Well, this is...pale

Al: Lifeless.

Izze: Boring.

Blade: Hey look sparkles!

EdwardCullen: Who are you peoples?...

Bella: They look funny! Hehahahahahahuuuhuhuhuhuhuhuh!

Cullen: SHUTUP BELLA!

Blade: ONI ! (knees Cullen in the stomach)

Izze: HENTAI ! (kicks Cullen in the face)

Cullen: WAAAAH UR MEAN!

Bella: HUHUHUHUH! THAT WAS FUUUUUNYYYYY!

Izze: (impales Bella in chest with katana)

Blade: (decapitates Bella)

Cullen: NOES BELLA! How did you get those weapons?

Blade: Alchemy...

Cullen: What?

Blade: WHY WONT YOU DIE YOU STUPID ONI I HATE YOU!

(shirtless werewolves and emo vampires appear)

EmoVampires: BLOOD!

ShirtlessWerewolves: VAMPIRES!

(insert incredibly boring fight here)

Vampire: (slaps werewolf)

Werewolf: OWWIES! (slaps vampire)

Vampire: (takes shirt off) (sparkles)

Werewolf: NO MY EYES IM BLIND AHHHGGGGGGGHHHH!

Blade: (throws cleaver into vampire) I HATE SPARKLES!

Izze: Lets break this up...

BladeandIzze: (clap hands and put them on ground)

(icy wind blows all the fighters into some other country)

Izze: This will be fun. (alchemizes car)

(car slams into Cullen)

Cullen: Blech...coughcoughcoughcough...

Blade: URUSAI YOU TEKI!

Izze: Why do you keep talking Japanese?

Blade: Because it's fun! (car onto of Cullen explodes)

Cullen: *sob sob* Why does everyone hate me? *sob sob*

(the two leave Cullen sobbing on the ground)

(AN: Yes you may think I went a bit overkill. The truth is...I did XD)

(the next day :D

Cullen: (walking aimlessly around) I am like so bored today!

(suddenly a knife flies into his eyes)

Cullen: AGGHHH! MY GOD! WHAT WAS THAT!

Blade: Smart people call them knives.

Blade: (uses hammer and throws Cullen into the air)

(15 minutes later, Cullen lands on the ground)

Blade: lol

Cullen: I KNOW WHAT TO DO! (takes shirt off) (sparkles)

Blade: HENTAI! I CANT SEE!

Izze: (shoots Cullen with tar gun) NOW YOU CANT SPARKLE! MUAHAHAHAHA!

Blade: Im bored now...Otaku!

Otaku: Meow?

Blade: Get him.

Otaku: (attacks Cullen for 30 minutes)

Izze: Hehehehe! This is really fun!

Otaku: (rave eyes)

Cullen: NOES! (faints)

Blade: I HAVE AN IDEA!

(1 hour and a devious trap later)

Cullen: Where am I? What's that sign?

Sign: If you move more than three inches, these knives will fly at you at speeds you cannot avoid. Don't move.

Cullen: *sobsobsobsob*

Sign: STOP CRYING!

(meanwhile in the RV)

Ed: I refuse to be included in any of your schemes. Al doesn't either.

Al: DONT MAKE DECISIONS FOR ME! (slams Ed's head into table)

Izze: Where do we go now?

Blade: Hmm...

Izze: I KNOW!

(and so after loads of swerving and almost falling off a cliff, the heroes end up at their destination)

GPS: You have arrived at your destination.

Blade: This isn't our destination.

GPS: You have arrived at your destination.

Blade: NO WE HAVENT!

GPS: Look, you &!$ing idiot, my &!$ing job is to lead people from point &!$ing A to point &!$ing B no matter what, so shut your &!$ing mouth and let me do my &!$ing job.

Blade: What a rude GPS!

GPS: I am going to &!$ing kill you, you &!$ing piece of -

Blade: (throws GPS out of window) STOP CURSING AT ME! I PAYED A LOT OF MONEY TO GET YOU AND I EXPECTED YOU TO WORK! (fumes)

Al: Its okay it doesn't matter. (slams Blade's head into wall)

Blade: GAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Izze: I think we took a wrong turn at Star Trek.

Blade: Blame the non-stop cursing GPS!

Otaku: (still asleep oblivious to noise)

Blade: C'mon Otaku, let's see where we are...

Otaku: Mrrrrp!

(everyone gets out of RV, and suddenly music begins to play)

IzzeBladeEdAl: (collapse on floor gagging and choking)

Ed: What's (cough) happening!

Blade: I think...

Izze: Probably not.

Blade: Then..

Izze: Nah...

Blade: You don't mean!...

Izze: Nope.

Blade: So then...

Izze: Yep.

BladeIzze: ITS CAMP ROCK!


	4. Death Trap

Chapter 4: Death Trap

Otaku: MEOW!

EdAl: Whats that?

Izze: We'll explain later.

(over at a group of people who seem to be...enjoying themselves...)

: Hey, look! Some ppl are like dying and stuff over there!

: LETS GO!WOO!

Whoeverthemaincharactersare: We have to sing a dramatic song of love and happiness to help them! (start song)

IzzeBladeAlEd: (start bleeding uncontrollably from ears) MAKE IT STOP!

Otaku: MOWWWWWWWWWMEOW!

SFGWALTM: We can't let the kitten suffer!

(singing stops)

Izze: QUICK! (everyone teleports away)

(meanwhile in a cabin with locked doors, windows, and with everything soundproofed and barricaded.)

Blade: Is everyone alright?

IzzeEdAl: Yeah...

Otaku: :( (angerrrrrrrr)

Blade: So...I drew out a trap to get everyone!

Izze: Wouldnt it be easier to go stab everyone?

Blade: That wouldn't be as fun!

Izze: Yeah I guess. Oh wait...you need to get more spikes in that area...people who fall in will start to pile up, so some people won't be implaed by the spikes. If you spread more across a bigger radius, more people will die!

Blade: Oh yeah!

(so the heroes carry out their devious plan...don't ask me where they got the materials)

Thefourmaincharacters: Hey! What r u doin in there?

Blade: (crashes through window) YOU ALMOST KILLED MY CAT! (impales the creepy-looking one with the swoopy hair with cleaver)

Gaylookingonewithswoopyhair: (dies) gughhh...

Overlyambitiousfreakgirl: NOES! I LUVED HIM!

Blade: Why? I mean...look at his hair...it's all swoopy.

: (high pitched voice) Hey he's my bro

Theonewhoactuallygotmarried: (even more high pitched voice) Yeah!

Blade: (throws bomb) (runs back in house and alchemizes steel walls around house)

BAFWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

Izze: Since when did bombs go bafwoom.

Blades: My bombs do. They're a mix between grenades, flash grenades, smokescreen, and molotovs.

Izze: Cool.

Al: Those people sounded so bad.

BladeIzzeEd: Yeah...

Otaku: MEOW!

Blade: Huh?

Izze: (looks out window) THE CROWDS COMING!

Blade: Ok (hands out bombs) These explosives are a fusion between punk rock and heavy metal. Guaranteed to destroy pop music. In other words...what they're playing.

(everyone runs outside and throws bombs)

(suddenly the ghost forms of rock bands appeared and played music)

Crowd: EEK! ITS NOT POPPY! RUN!

Crowd: (fall into spike trap)

EdAlIzzeBlade: WOOT!

Otaku: MWOW!

(ghost bands fade away)

Izze: So...is everyone dead now?

Blade: :D Yep.

Blade: We have to remove all evidence.

(one hour later)

Ed: The charges are set in my area.

Al: Done.

Izze: Pretty much the opposite of not not not completed.

Blade: Alright...so a safe distance is about a couple of miles.

(a couple of miles later)

Izze: Lets do this :D

Otaku: (presses big red button) :D

OtakuEdIzzeBladeAl: :D

!

Blade: Camp Rock has been officially eliminated.

Otaku: (purrs)

*and so our heroes get back to their car...*

Blade: Where now...it better not be High School Musical...

Izze: I was thinking POKÉMON!11!1!1!1!1!11!111!

Ed: Overexcited much?

Izze: *hits Ed with mallet*

Al: *slams Blade's head into table*

Blade: WHAT WAS THAT FOR!

Al: Im bored -_-

Blade: *takes out Keyblade* You wanna fight?

Izze: WHATS THAT!

Blade: A keyblade

Izze: Oh...

Blade: I got bored of the overkill cleaver :-\

Izze: Oh...

Al: So we were gonna fight?

Blade: YEAH!

Izze: EPIC BATTLE FIGHT! WOOT!

*suddenly...a rumbling noise appeared in the background*

Izze: what's that?

*suddenly again a giant horde of rabid fangirls come dashing out into the open*

Gianthorde: WE LUV EDWARD!

Blade: OH NO TWILIGHT FANGIRLS!

Mini Chapter: The Horde Attacks

*Blade takes out keyblade, Izze takes out invisible sword and katana, Ed and al make weapons, Otaku makes claws a foot long*

*randomness over*

Gianthorde: YOULL DIE FOR ALMOST KILLING EDWARD!

Blade: *takes out pistols instead*

Ed: UR GONNA SHOOT THEM ALL

Blade: they're just stun bullets...geez

Izze: WE MUST USE GRENADES!*giant pile of grenades appears*

Blade: Cool

Al: slams Blade's head into ground

Blade: I am going to kill you

*horde rushes towards them*

Izze: it's all or nothing

They all jump into the air and spread grenades across the group, which knocks them all out.

Fangirl: HAHA IM STILL STANDING!

Blade: *shoots fangirl* no you're not.

Izze: We must escape!

Al: Where to now?

Blade: *leaps into drivers seat* *blasts radio* WERE GOING SOMEWHERE EPIC!

Izze: -_-" there he goes agin

Blade: HELL YEAAAHHH!


	5. Dark Counterparts

Chapter 5: Dark Counterparts

*5 almost car accidents later*

Blade: *smashes car into building*

*everybody flies out and does a quadrouple backflip twist in midair*

Blade: *lands on face* ...ow

Izze: *lands perfectly* sigh...

Ed: *flails in midair*

Al: *smashes through the ground*

Al:...so...where are we?

Blade: Hollow Bastion of course idiot.

Al: *slams Blade's head into wall*

Ed: and that is?

Izze: Kingdom Hearts or course, don't you play video games?

Ed: No

Izze: *throws ed into building* well you should

Ed: DAMIT *charges*

Blade: *trips Ed* Now children, stop fighting.

*the team wanders around*

Blade: Well...this place used to be Radiant Garden...but...it was taken over...Xehanort and the heartless...Ansem...so now it's Hollow Bastion

*nobodies appear*

Ed: WHAT THE HELL ARE THOSE?

Izze: Nobodies...beings without hearts.

Al: is that even possible

Izze: Let's find out *brandishes knife* :D

Ed: They're closing in

Blade: huh...easy

*Blade summons keyblade, Izze summons katana, and Ed and al...do whatever they want*

*insert epic battle somewhere around this general area*

Blade: *dashes through slashing nobodies* they don't end!

Izze: *jumps over nobody and stabs from behind* dammit...

Blade: wait...IZZE OVER HERE!

*the two bring their weapons together and purge them into the ground*

*giant fiery explosion wipes out nobodies*

Izze: That was easy...

Blade: I got grit in my hair...*shakes head*

?: Damn...now we have to go make more...

?: And we were doing so well.

*dark portal appears in the ground, two dark figures rise out of the ground*

Blade: Do they seem familiar to you?

Izze: Well...they're ugly...and we're not...so...no they don't.

?: That wasn't very nice...considering we're you...

Blade: I doubt it.

?: I look exactly like you...-_-

Blade: Except for the whole completely black colour scheme and pale skin.

?: You're wearing black...

Blade:...I've got blue hair! And can you not see the red shoelaces?

?: Alright then...

?: Since we don't get cool names you can just call me Anti-Izze. *creepy pose*

?: And Anti-Blade *creepy pose*

AntiB: I challenge you to a ddddddddddddddduel!

*Anti-I summons keyblade and Anti-B summons giant sword*

Izze: Those are ours!

Anti-I: Well I don't see you wielding them now...

Blade: we're in kingdom hearts...what did you expect...?

Anti-I: Anyway...prepare to die.

*giant dark portal appears, Ed and Al fall through*

Anti-B: You won't be needing them.

*dramatic rain begins...dramatically*

*suddenly two large green lines appear in the sky*

Blade: Lolz now we can see how much health you have!

Anti-I: Damn this universe...

Izze: *charges at anti-B, B easily blocks attacks* Damn you're fast!

*trips B over and stabs in back* LOL

Blade: MY KEYBLADE IS BETTER THAN URS!

*anti-I and Blade leap into midair, clashing blades epically*

Izze: *chases anti-B up the side of a building, firing lightning projectiles*

*Anti B falls to ground

Izze: *super epic triple backflip turn frontflip*

Anti-I: Looks like you were better than we thought

Izze: Looks like you were worse than we thought.

Anti-I: *fumes*

Izze: *fire extinguisher*

Otaku: *burst out of nowhere and rave eyes the antis*

Anti-B: NUUUUU! WELL GET YOU NEXT TIME!

*the two exit through dark portals*

Blade: that was easy...

Izze: That was very dramatic wasn't it?

Blade: why yes...yes it was...

...

Izze: We were almost serious there for a second Lolz.

Blade: I know right! LOLOLO

Izze: LOLOLOLOLOLO

Izze: Wait...where did Ed and Al go?

Blade: they fell through portals.

Izze: WE MUST GO SAVE THEM!

*epic hero music*

*The two leap into the RV along with Otaku and listen to epic rave music as they make their way to new worlds*

END OF PART I


End file.
